'Tis Better to have Loved and Lost....

...Than never to have loved at all? I know you’ve seen these words before. But Mom met a guy on Sunday who just recently lost his very first dog. She was 15. And an Aussie. His heart, as you can imagine, was crushed. Yet, he’s ready, now, to fill his heart again (yes, it’s healing, they always do) and is looking for another Aussie. I begged Mom to leave Chaudy, but no such luck (ooh, boy, I’m really channeling Bear now with this digression stuff. Sorry.).

This man knew that his heart would soon heal and it would be empty and he needed to love again. Which, of course, caused me ‘n Mom (and Ditto) to recall one of Bear’s earliest blogs; one that he did even prior to starting his official blog. He did it on his Facebook page, under "notes". We talked about it and agreed that even a year later, we felt it bore repeating. So please indulge me while I re-post one of Bear’s more thought provoking blogs…..

From June 5, 2010:

Would you all mind if I deviate from my fun posts and talk about something serious? Normally I like entertaining topics—things that are happening and how much fun I’m having again. But events of late, conversations of late, have made my mom and I want to address a subject that we, ourselves, have talked and thought about a great deal. First off, however, please know this is not addressed to, or at, anyone in specific, but it’s something we have felt very strongly about for a long time.

You know the expression, “it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all”? Well we’d like to amend that a bit. We feel it should be, “it is better to have loved and lost and LOVED AGAIN than have only loved once or never at all”. What we are referring to is those out there that have made a conscious decision to not get another pet (dog, cat, horse, whatever) because they cannot bear the pain associated with loss again. Because they couldn’t have their hearts broken again. Because they will never have another soul mate. Because there could never be another “Fifi” or “Rex”. Well, we find that unconscionable.

My late brother, Dakota, told us a story about our mom. He was the next dog after her beloved Beasley. Dakota came to her just 2 months after Beasley crossed “the bridge”. He knew he could never measure up to Beasley. He knew he would never be her soul mate. But he didn’t care. He told me she cried every day into his fur for over 2 years, but he was ok with that. He loved her so unconditionally for saving HIS life that he wanted to save hers. And he did. And he knew she loved him. He knew he had almost all of her heart and he was ok with that, too. He told us that when “her soul mate” died, part of her heart was sectioned off just for that dog, but Dakota knew that as momma’s heart healed it grew bigger so that he could fit in just fine. And he knew that when the time came for him to leave us, her heart would have a space just for him and as it healed it would grow bigger again. And he was right.

Dakota, my mom’s first Aussie, left us 2 years ago. But sure enough, along came Sophie and her heart got bigger.

As most of you know, by God’s Grace, a fantastic young surgeon and her amazing staff, the benefits of modern medicine, and my sheer will to live, I survived my attack. No one is happier than my mom, my dad, and me. But had I not made it, I know my family would have been incredibly sad and incredibly despondent; but I also know that with time I would be emblazoned on their hearts, their hearts would have healed, and grown bigger, and another dog would be there, in time, to continue in their lives. He would be different than me. I’m different than Dakota. Dakota was different than Beasley or Missy or Lucy or Ditto or Sophie. But that’s ok. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Life is not fair. Life is not easy. For humans or us companion animals. But death, grieving, and pain is a part of life. From pain you humans grow. Sadly, we pets are on this earth for only 15 years or so. But look at what we can teach you. And we can ease your pain. How selfish, then, it is to deny us a chance at life, let alone happiness, because you humans cannot bear a day, a week, a month, or a year of pain. How selfish that you are willing to sacrifice years of unconditional love, not to mention condemn many of us to certain death, because you cannot stand to hurt again? So many of us are in second, or more, homes. We have suffered. We know pain and anguish, but we overcome it and are willing to give unconditional love and acceptance to those that save us. Why not return the favor?

Thanks for reading my post everybody. Your comments are welcome.

Postscript: I know that many of you commented on this original post. And feel free to do so again. How ironic, or is it prophetic, for him to write this. As you know, we did lose Bear. And our hearts were shattered. But we’re already loving again (well maybe Mom is…I can’t bear the imp) and there will be more. This is one time I want to be the Ruler of the World. To make everyone love again…..

Thanks for indulging me. And I grant happiness, and love, to reign on you today.